Pro Triathletes Are Insane

I was thinking that I’m kind of bad-ass for Die Hard-ing it through a half Ironman with bloody feet, but I immediately humbled up when I heard about how the top pros finished in Boise. First of all, Chris Lieto busted out a 2:04 bike. That is sick. He averaged 27 mph for 56 miles. I can’t even average that high a speed for a sprint race. With a bike time that killer, you’d think he’d easily win, right? Well, it certainly looked that way. Lieto was ahead of Craig Alexander by nearly a minute and a half with one mile to go on the run. Normally that’d be it — that’s too big a deficit to make up in such a short distance (unless the person you’re trying to catch is doing like a 10 minute mile or something). Lieto ran a 1:19 half marathon, averaging 6:03 minute miles. That is FAST…but Craig Alexander, by the grace of God, ran his final mile in like a 4:46 and beat Lieto by two heartbreaking seconds (check out the photo finish over at Ironman Boise’s website–it’s gut wrenching). First of all, I can’t believe that after swimming 1.2 miles, biking 56 miles and running 12.1 miles, Craig Alexander was still able to bust out a sub-5 minute mile to squeak out the win. His total run time was 1:13:44, averaging a 5:38 pace. Good grief. Secondly, can you imagine how Lieto must have felt? Two weeks ago he lost to Craig Alexander and took 2nd at the Kona 70.3, and he gets win-blocked again by the same dude. I bet Lieto has made a little Craig Alexander voodoo doll and is stabbing the holy hell out of it. Major props to both athletes. I can’t imagine biking or running that fast. They’re so...
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Bloody Feet at Ironman Boise 70.3

Bloody Feet at Ironman Boise 70.3
I’m finally getting around to writing my race recap of Ironman Boise 70.3. In a nutshell, it didn’t go great. In fact, everything that could go wrong pretty much did go wrong, except for the fact that I didn’t have any mechanical problems on the bike or any flat tires. Other than that, Boise was a bust but I still managed to PR by 20 minutes. Prologue The half Ironman was on a Saturday and boasted a point-to-point bike course (meaning two transition areas instead of one) and a 2 pm start. On paper that sounded awesome — you got to sleep in instead of getting up at butt crack of dawn o’clock, and you could get a proper meal instead of choking down oatmeal. Huzzah! I put off signing up until the week of the race because I had been having knee problems lately and wanted to make sure my body felt healthy before shelling out a couple hundred dollars for the race. Unfortunately for me, they closed online registration the week of the race so I had to sign up in person. Traveling to the Race Jason and I loaded up the Subee, strapped our bikes onto the hitch and drove the 8 excruciatingly boring hour drive through eastern Washington, most of Oregon and into Boise. The drive pretty much consisted of the following: brown nothingness brown nothingness brown nothingness ridiculous thunderstorm brown nothingness Pre-Race Preparations We finally got to Boise, and the next day Jason and I headed to the Expo Center to pick up our registration packet. I had to sign up in person and was forced to bequeath my unborn child over to the Ironman brand (Jesus Christ, race-day sign up is so freakin’ expensive). I also decided to rent race day wheels to see what they were like. They were kind of pricey but still tons cheaper than buying a set of race wheels (which can cost $2,000 and up). After Jason and I finished up at the Expo Hall, we drove over to the swim start so we could drop off our bikes at T1. After a test bike ride, we got in the water for a 10 minute swim, and holy hell was that water cold. I flailed around for a couple meters before running into a group of idiot kids who thought it was a good idea to take a dip in the sub-60 degree water in bikinis and swim trunks. I had the following conversation with one of them: Him: “Are you still cold even in your scuba suit?” Me: “Yeah, this water is pretty cold.” Him: “I’m freezing! How much did your scuba suit cost?” Me: “It’s not a scuba suit, it’s a wetsuit.” Him: “Oh…how much did your wetsuit cost?” Me: “$650.” Him: “Really? I only have $5…how much does it cost to rent a wetsuit?” At that point I was thinking, “Screw you, junior, I’m not lending you my suit,” so I swam off and finished my miserable workout. Race Day The next morning we woke up and went downstairs to eat breakfast in the hotel’s dining area. I grabbed a bowl of cereal but upon looking down at it, I felt a sudden wave of nausea overtake me so I only managed to poke at it with my spoon and not eat anything. When we got back to our room I promptly threw up. Twenty minutes later I yakked again, barfing up water and foamy stomachy goodness. Jason looked at me with a mixture of empathy and disgust, asking if I was feeling okay and if I should race. I called Teresa for advice. Teresa:...
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Way to Phone It In, Clearwater Coverage

Way to Phone It In, Clearwater Coverage
Like the elite athletes we are, this morning Jason and I slept in until 11:30, stumbled downstairs, watched a movie while eating a scramble full of embarrassingly massive quantities of feta cheese, and then queued up the Ironman 70.3 Championships in Clearwater on NBC. We’ve grown increasingly obsessed with watching triathlons and have caught a crapload of Kona reruns on the Universal Sports channel, so we were pretty stoked to see the 2008 Clearwater race. Unfortunately, it sucked. Well, let me clarify. The race didn’t suck, but the coverage sure did. They really phoned it in this year. I’m surprised it took this long to air the coverage — given how crappily they half-assed it, they could have aired this thing the day after the actual race. First of all, they showed two “check out these athletes who have overcome adversity” profiles, one about a paraplegic motocross (or dirt bike, or something) racer and another about a dude who got in a horrible car accident and got a “second chance at life”/insert-hyperbolic-inspirational-schmaltz-here. I don’t mind athlete profiles, but I do mind when they show the exact same segment they aired for the Kona race. They didn’t even bother shooting anything new — they just queued up the existing footage and re-played it for Clearwater. That’s pretty lazy. Other disappointments: The narrator was underwhelming. He didn’t seem especially stoked to be covering Clearwater, and his lack of enthusiasm was kind of a buzzkill. They didn’t really do any elite athlete profiles other than the requisite 30 second “here’s who won last year” mention. I like how Kona does it — they talk about the elites more and interview them and check in on them more on an individual level. Not much mention of the course. I know that Clearwater is an “easy” course since it’s pretty much flat as a pancake, but how were the conditions (e.g., temperature, humidity)? Is there any elevation gain? They could have even talked about how flat it is and compared it to more challenging race courses, but no go. Not only did they recycle some athlete profiles and barely cover the elites, they did some super half-ass last-minute profiling, like the 5 second mention at the very end of the program of the lady who ran in sandals because of some condition she has (what? who? huh?). I’m sure there are more grievances to air, but the coverage was so unimpressive and disappointing that I’ve already forgotten most of what I saw. The one saving grace was getting to see Team Hoyt and finding out that this year they’ll log their 1,000th race. (I’ll post a separate entry about them this week.) Other than that, though, I must say that the coverage was pretty craptacular. Oh well — at least it motivated me and Jason to get off our unsatisfied asses and do a 10-13 mile...
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