Sorry for the slight delay in getting this to you, but for some odd reason flashing my finisher’s medal doesn’t get me out of doing my day job or paying my bills. An Ironman employee should really look into fixing that — completing the race should earn you “I Don’t Have to Do Jack Shit” status for a month (or at least a couple of weeks).

Everyone has their own personal racing goal. Some people want the accomplishment of completing something difficult like a marathon or an Ironman, while others want to post a PR or finish in under a certain amount of time. Hardcore, dedicated athletes want to qualify for Clearwater or Kona, and elite racers want to finish at the top of their age group or maybe qualify for their pro license. All of these are admirable goals, but mine is a little different. Sure, I’d love to do the Boston Marathon some day or qualify for the 70.3 World Championships, but I really only have one race goal that I constantly work towards and strive to achieve: I never want to crap myself during a race.