When you spend a decent amount of time training with fitness-oriented people, you often get sucked into extra-curricular activities that have an athletic or healthy twist. Like the time I went to my coach’s bachelorette weekend and ended up riding 80 miles through a canyon. Or the time I went to a dinner party that turned out to be gluten, dairy, chicken, various nuts, and egg-free. Or when a couple of weeks ago I did a “holidazzle” run with some of the fittest and fastest females in Seattle. It’s my fault, really. I accept these invitations knowing full well I’m in over...

I enjoy watching/making fun of/rooting for the chubby contestants from The Biggest Loser, but this show really knows how to piss off an athlete. In last night’s episode, previous contestant Tara (the girl with the weirdly spaced teeth who won more challenges than any other contestant in show history) returned to tow a car alongside the current season’s cast of shrinking folks. She mentioned a new charity she set up and then dropped the bomb that she would be competing in the Ironman World Championships in Kona this fall. I’m all for these folks feeling empowered and strong and getting...

My brother was a high jumper in high school, and he was quite good. He also excelled at hurdles — at 6′2″, he and my other brother were not cursed with the dreaded Stumpy Asian Legs Syndrome that afflicts me to this day. The same track coach who coached my brother attempted to coax me to try out for track, figuring I could bring the same skills over to the girls team, but after seeing me nearly kill myself on the low hurdles, he realized that some talents do not extend to all family members. I think this girl also had an older brother who excelled in a sport that she was ultimately...

It’s hard for me to award this dude the Mediocre Athlete of the Week since he was at the top of the pack for a big city marathon and is therefore a pretty bad-ass runner, but he lost the race when he inexplicably took a wrong turn 200 meters from the finish line and headed in the wrong direction. Thus, instead of being a mediocre athlete, he’s simply a mediocre direction follower. I guess that’s one of the drawbacks of being in the front — you don’t have anyone to follow. Sorry, dude. Better luck next...

Two weeks ago I unveiled a new regular feature on Mediocre Athlete, the Mediocre Athlete of the Week…and then last week I didn’t post one because I was busy. I know, I suck. To make up for it, for this week I thought it would make sense to roll last week’s nomination into this week’s post since they’re related to one another. Last week I was going to award the entire NFC West as the Mediocre Athlete of the Week, whereas this week the honor quite obviously goes to the Seattle Seahawks, so what the hell, YOU get crowned and YOU get crowned, Oprah-style. You know that when a...